In Hunter-Gatherer Societies there was a True Sense of Parity
We refer to our early ancestors as hunter-gatherers, since it was the gathering activities of the women that brought in most of the food. The hunter-gatherer arrangement is also referred to as an “affluent partnership” since equality and cooperation are key elements in its success.
For hunter-gatherers in the past, as well as those who are alive now, men and women had quite different roles, yet neither dominated the other. Women gathered food while men hunted game animals. Hunter-gatherers saw human beings as equal partners.
However, with a shift to domestication, there were changes in religious philosophy. Peak events took place that altered the course of history and marked the beginning of the end for hunter-gatherer societies throughout the world. This shift from hunter-gatherer to domestication represented a loss of spiritual connection within the human fabric. As a result dominator societies came to characterize more and more of human life, and began to systematically destroy the older partnership societies.
Where men/women are dependent on each other to survive, there is parity. The number one relational expletive among men and women is…“I don’t need you.“ In addition, the most injurious blow to equality between men and women was the plow. The industrial revolution and War times re-introduced women back into the work force, which was short lived. Resultantly, the feminist movement continues to seek ways to reverse the trend of a male dominated society.
Men and Women tend to walk in agreement when there is Interdependence:
+Similar Interest
+Similar Religious Beliefs
+Similar Socio-Economic mobility
+Mutual Friends
+Joint Leisure Activities
+Common Values
+Similar Personality Traits
When the ties holding men and women together outweighs the forces pulling them apart, individuals tend to walk in their giftedness rather than seek position/dominance. Men and women are like two feet; they need each other to get ahead.
There are four specific patterns discovered in conflict that perpetuates the cycle of disparity:
a. Escalation: Occurs when men and women react negatively back and forth to each other, continually raising the ante, so that conditions get worse and worse. Often, negative comments spiral into increasing anger and frustration, resultantly, the issues are never resolved
b. Invalidation: Is a pattern in which men subtly or directly put down the thoughts, feelings, or character of the women. Sometimes such comments, intentionally or unintentionally, lower the self-worth of the targeted person.
c. Withdrawal and Avoidance: Manifest when men show unwillingness to engage or stay with important discussions concerning the role of women in the church
d. Negative Interpretations: Occur when men interpret the behavior of women much more negatively than portrayed by the Bible.
How Do You Find Parity ? There are three beings involved in relationships man, women, and God.
Real love is a desire to nurture the spiritual growth of another and yourself:
+Our model for equality should exemplify God’s original design before the fall.
+God meant for the first couple to live in complete equality, sharing joint rulership over the paradise. In Christ, God wants to restore that capacity to rule by the establishment of His covenant.
Rom 8:17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
Gal 3:27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
In the original scheme of God's creation our hierarchy of needs were met by God’s covenant:
1. Primary Needs– Gen.2:8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. 9And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food,] (Matt.6:25, 31, 34; Phil.4:19)
2. Security – freedom from worry Gen.2:15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Primary needs were met
3. Belongingness – To be attached through birth or relationship; Grk Karis, an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person; from the word Kara, joy, pleasure, delight. Gen.2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
4. Love – Agape is pure, it is unmotivated by external motives, it arises completely from within its own nature. It is not based on the expectation of anything in return. It cannot be frustrated because it does not demand anything in return. Gen.2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Ref. Gal.5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:
5. Christ Actualization – Gen.2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. The first pair, Adam and Eve were at peace, in union, and experiencing the perfect intention of God’s creative design as the “two shall be made one” the marriage relationship. This is an example of Christ’s relationship to the church, the mystical union between Jesus and his church is held together by love, mercy, and forgiveness.
When these basic needs are met there is no motivation to dominate, however when our needs are not met we seek to meet them illegitimately through dominating/abusing others.
It is believed that one reason hunter-gatherers changed to domestication is because of fear. Fear their primary needs would not be met. This fear led to herding rather than hunting, and stock piling grain. (we see a transition from hunter-gatherer to domestication in Gen.27:5) Herding and hoarding necessitated walls to protect one’s commodities from thieves from within and without.
The paradigm, God’s blueprint of the world had completely changed, and man had fallen from a supernatural to a natural scheme of existence. Now healthy is whatever the paradigm says is healthy not what God intended from the beginning. This is the paradigm that has caused soul abusive systems where women were/are no longer equal according to God’s scheme of things.
The Control Dominator Paradigm: Requires that we blame and intimidate women in order to keep our social systems healthy. How is control maintained ? In order to be controlled, women have to be disconnected from their souls. The major threat to external control is the internal guidance system of the soul.
The control dominator system tried to sever the women’s soul tie to God (giftedness), women are told that their God-given purpose is unacceptable. And so to survive in the church many women have put aside who they really are and become what people expect them to be. For the sake of measuring up to the control paradigms standards, women have had to sacrifice their soul-connectedness (giftedness).
In many cases the single women, mother and wife, single mother, stay at home mom, the working mom, and widow are relegated to non-essential roles in the church due to the good ‘O boy system.
What men have not fully considered is the emotional an spiritual abuse that women have experienced throughout history in the name of patriarchy. “Abusive systems produce sick people, and then reward for how they excel in that sick system.”
